Why It’s Good To Be Selfish

Selfishness is coined as a bad word in our society. If you hear it, you think of someone who is a bad person and this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Selfishness isn’t what people think it is. It isn’t being so concerned about yourself that you treat others badly. It isn’t causing harm to anyone else. I am not speaking about neglecting anyone; it is about not completely neglecting yourself. Selfishness is about taking care of yourself first and then taking care of others.

There are reasons why is it best to take care of yourself first and others second. Here’s why it’s good to be selfish every now and then.

Why It’s Good to Be Selfish

1. You Can’t Help Anyone if You Aren’t Taken Care of First

For example, I had injured myself and it was my first day back at CrossFit. I couldn’t do much as I wasn’t completely healed yet. But I went to the workout anyways. I was frustrated and didn’t get in a full workout.

My trainer pulled me aside after and said it was ok for me to pull him away from the group if I had any questions or if I needed help with anything. The reason why I didn’t pull him away was that I wanted everyone else to enjoy their workout. I wanted others to get the attention they needed that day. I didn’t want to bother anybody. But really, I was the one in need of help more than anyone else there that day. None of the other athletes were injured like I was, but I wanted them to get the best experience possible. Some other day might be the day they need more attention but today was my day.

I tried to put on a happy face and pretend I was great even though inside I was frustrated. I didn’t want anyone to be around someone that wasn’t at their 100% and not as positive as usual, so I put on a happy face for them. In turn, I think my decision to not be selfish actually backfired. I ended the workout early and even broke into tears at the gym.

You can’t take care of anyone else unless you are taken care of first. Like the example above, if my needs were met, I’d be more pleasant and wouldn’t be focused on trying to figure everything out myself.  I’d have space in my head to help others if my needs were met and I wasn’t constantly focused on them.

2. It Doesn’t Work When You Try to Help Someone When You Aren’t at Your Best – It’s Time to Get Selfish 

Have you ever tried to help someone when you weren’t at your best? How did it go? I bet not as good as if you were at your best.

It’s better to be selfish and take care of yourself first. If you think about it, you wouldn’t ask your friend who just got dumped to help you with one of your issues the next day after her heartache. She’d be so emotional and wouldn’t have advice to give you, at least no reasonable advice. She’d be in the wrong state of mind. The same goes for everything.

Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to help others no matter how big or small the issue is. It can be something as simple as if someone had a bad day at work and they just don’t have the mental capacity to help anyone after that. So, the solution is to get selfish!

Take care of yourself first. By taking care of yourself you are actually being selfless because then you can take care of others. It is more selfish to go in thinking you can help someone else when you are messed up and have your own issues to deal with first. You won’t be able to help them when you are like that.

3. Your Needs Are Just as Important as Others – Be Selfish with Your Needs

Do you think you don’t deserve help as much as other people? Do you think other people need help more than you? Do you justify this by saying you are a stronger person, so you let them get taken care of first?

Everyone needs help every now and then, I don’t care what you think, everyone needs people to lean on. You deserve it just as much as your friend, co-worker, husband, wife, kids, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Their needs aren’t above yours. Famous peoples’ needs are not above yours; you are just as important and valuable as everyone else.

4. Selfish People Are Happier

If everyone needs you to always do things for them and you have no time for yourself, you will eventually get bitter that you can’t do what you want. Selfish people are happier because they do things they enjoy.

I know I can get pretty depressed if I can’t workout for some reason.  If I couldn’t workout because I constantly had to do things for others it would leave me depressed. Selfish people know what they want and are happier because they do those things that they want.

5. Practice the Art of Saying No with No Explanation Needed

You can’t be everything to everyone; some people will get neglected. It is impossible for anyone to please everyone in their lives. So, you need to start saying NO to the things that just really aren’t for you.

Let’s say you have two friends who want help the same night. One friend wants help moving and the other wants help watching her kids. You are great with kids so you decide that is the one you will do. Your other friend gets really upset and asks you why you can’t help her? The reason is that is what you have decided to do. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. You don’t have to give an excuse. Even if you had nothing better going on but needed some time to relax you still don’t owe an explanation. You are allowed to say no because that is what you choose to do. Who cares the reason. It’s your life and you can do what you want when you want.

We get so conditioned to always explain everything to everyone so that they don’t change their opinion of us. If someone says ‘no’ to you and they don’t give you a reason why you’d probably be a bit upset at first. But once you thought about it, you’d probably gain some respect for them. Good for them for doing what they want to do. It’s their life and they are free to choose what they want to do with their time just as you are free to choose. We are all free even though we may not think we are.

6. ‘Thank You’ Is the Best Response to a Compliment

Another thing that most people are terrible at is taking compliments. Instead of saying thank you, most people try to deny their greatness. Be selfish and take that compliment with a humble yet powerful ‘thank you’. Why would you deny that you aren’t great at something you are indeed great at?

I was at a seminar a couple of years ago about chakras. The instructor wanted us to talk for a couple of minutes about the things we are good at and it was so incredibly uncomfortable.

Why? Because we aren’t used to talking to others about our strengths. We are more comfortable talking about our weaknesses. The reason for this is because we don’t want others to think we are bragging and not like us.

But you know what? Every lady there spoke about things they like about themselves and things they are good at and not one of them came across as bragging or conceded. It was actually quite refreshing.

We need to learn how to highlight our strengths and not be afraid of being powerful. If you don’t think you are better than anyone, it won’t come across like that. There is a way to brag without being conceded.

7. Be Selfish in Order to Help Others 

Of course, you need to do things for other people, but you need to take care of yourself FIRST. Being selfish means taking care of your needs so that you have something to give other people. If your needs aren’t met, then you won’t have anything to give anyone anyways. You will be neglecting others of the great qualities you have.

Bottom Line: Why It’s Good to Be Selfish

If anyone ever tells you that you are selfish take it as a compliment because it means that you are taking care of yourself so that you have something to give others. It’s good to be selfish every now and then. I encourage all of you to get a little more selfish.

~Meghan