Why Is Change So Uncomfortable? – 8 Ways Change Can Get To You

Change is a good thing, but it may be difficult to see this at the time it is happening. Change can appear as something scary and extremely uncomfortable. It should be exciting transitioning from one thing to another so why is it making you feel so uncomfortable?

I recently went through some changes that were uncomfortable. After the crazy eclipses in September, everything was changing. I was moving to a new city and had to let go of some amazing friendships I made at the CrossFit gym I trained at. Before this experience, I was longing for a change so this was good but things were coming up that were bringing out anger in me.

I am normally not an angry person so why was I so irritated and feeling like I wanted to explode? After analyzing my emotions, it revealed a couple of things to me. I hope these things can also help you to understand on a deeper level what is going on when you experience change.

Why Is Change So Uncomfortable?

1. Change Can Cause You to Experience Anger

Let’s first look at what anger is. It is energy that needs somewhere to go. Anger is a bottled-up emotion that needs an outlet. It is a higher emotion than depression but a lower emotion than happiness.

It is better to be angry than depressed because if you are depressed then the energy stops moving and you have essentially given up. But it is better to feel happy than angry because happiness feels good and anger feels uncomfortable. 

I was angry and I didn’t understand why. But after really digging deep I understood there was a reason I was so angry. Anger helps to push us in the direction we need to go. Things don’t change if we are content but if we get a fire lit under our ass and get angry it causes us to take action. I took action when I got angry. Later I almost regretted it, but I knew without a doubt that I needed this anger to cause me to make some big decisions and change my life.

After all, that’s the whole reason for the eclipses of September 2016 – to push us into a new direction and change our path.  But it is difficult for our physical minds to comprehend why. Our higher selves know why though.

You may experience some anger when a big change is happening. You might not understand why. It is perfectly normal and ok. Let the anger help you to make the big decisions you need to make. You might need this anger to push you into a new direction so try not to judge it or allow it to make you feel like there is something wrong with you.

2. Change Can Cause You to Judge Your Emotions

We so often judge our emotions. We think “how can I be so angry; I am a spiritual person?” Emotions of any kind are normal to have and by judging them we label them as good or bad. They are neither good nor bad but just an emotion that needs expressing.

No matter if you are on the spiritual path or not, you are going to feel different emotions at different times in your life. They are not there to be judged but to be experienced. 

 3. Change Requires You to Be More Flexible

When change is brought upon us for any reason, we need to learn how to become more flexible and go with the flow. Sometimes when life pushes us in a new direction it knows exactly what needs to happen next and the exact way to make it happen. So being more flexible will help you to get to where you need to go.

Go with the flow and allow things to unfold in the easiest way you can. Trying to control the outcome will only make it more difficult for you.

4. Change Requires You to Trust in the Process

During a time of change, trust is a huge factor. We need to understand that everything is happening for a reason and that it is something our higher self wants. It is not just happening for no apparent reason.

I know you may think that you created the change and you did. So, you worry that you overreacted or made an irrational decision. However, this change is occurring for some purpose that will serve you in your life. It may be an experience you want or a lesson you want to learn to overcome. You are not making a mistake. Trust in the direction the Universe is taking you.

5. Change Requires You to Let Go

When everything changes, there is a good chance so will your social circle. It is hard to let go of friendships. But people are in our lives for a reason and sometimes we need to move on for whatever reason. 

It is not easy to start over and make new friends. You miss the memories you have with your old friends and deep down inside know that you will lose some of them if they are no longer a part of your everyday experience because of this change you just encountered.

In my opinion, letting go is one of the most difficult things to do. It hurts to let go of memories, people, and places. It hurts us deeply when we have to move on from someone or a group of people even if we know it is the right thing to do. Saying goodbye is difficult to whatever it is that you are moving on from. It’s ok to feel sad at this time for letting go of the things you will leave behind. 

6. Change Can Cause You to Feel Like a Failure

If you are moving on from a job or a relationship it can feel like you failed at whatever it is that you are changing. If your relationship doesn’t work out even if you know it is for the best, you might feel like you failed at it. Or if you are changing careers even if it is for a better one, you still may feel like you failed at your previous one.

Failure is a tough pill to swallow. But if you look at everything as one big learning experience then you can never truly fail at anything.

7. Change Can Be Scary Because of the Uncertainty of What Lies Ahead

We are afraid of the unknown. When a change is forced upon you and you feel like you don’t have control (you always do but you perceive that you don’t) it can scare the sh*t out of you!

You may have no idea why the Universe would force this change upon you especially if things weren’t all that bad before. You wonder what it has in store. You know sh*t is going to get uncomfortable because you have just been knocked out of your comfort zone.

If you are going through a change, guaranteed that it is going to be a bit uncomfortable. You don’t know what to expect from your new adventure and that uncertainty can cause anxiety. Getting out of your comfort zone into a land of the unknown can be exciting but also scary to not know exactly what to expect.

8. Change Can Bring Up Feelings of Unfairness

We create the experiences in our lives; however, change can feel unfair at times. You may feel like it is unfair that you lost your job because you got laid off. Or you might feel like it’s unfair that a certain person broke up with you.

I felt like it was unfair that I was no longer able to do CrossFit at my gym because one person pushed me away. I had to keep reminding myself that it is fair and I chose this and it is all happening for a reason even if I can’t see it right now.

The feeling that things aren’t fair is perfectly natural. However, things are not always as they seem.

Look at Pat Flynn. He was laid off from his job and had to do something else. So, he chose to start an online business and is now super successful. He probably felt it was unfair at the beginning but guaranteed he doesn’t think that now.

When we can look back in hindsight, we can put the pieces together of why things happened the way they did and what seems unfair isn’t always the way it is. I always say that nothing is black and white, look for the grey area in every situation.

Conclusion: Change Is Uncomfortable

Change and all the feelings that come with it are perfectly normal. If you are experiencing anger, frustration, or anxiety during a change know that it is ok and there is a reason for it. Just because you are a positive person it doesn’t mean that things don’t happen that cause you to feel deep emotions and get upset.

Change is exciting but it is also scary. There are no mistakes and the changes you are feeling are helping you in some way in your life.  Make sure to look back in hindsight at this time and you will know exactly why this change had to occur.

~Meghan