Self-Sabotage – 4 Ways You Might Be Getting In Your Own Way
Self-Sabotage – 4 Ways You Might Be Getting In Your Own Way
Have you ever found yourself self-sabotaging something in your life? Let’s say you want to make lots of money but push away opportunities to get ahead.
Or you want to lose weight but don’t change your lifestyle in any way to accomplish that goal. I think most of us have self-sabotaged something in our lives at one time or another.
I have created many wonderful things with the Law of Attraction, however, there are many things I still want and can’t seem to get. So, what or who is standing in my way?
ME. I am the reason I don’t have everything I want. I am a self-sabotager. How, you may ask? As soon as something starts to go good, I panic and find a way to make it go bad.
This is not something I am proud of. Or something that I am doing consciously. But I realize that I have a limiting belief on how much happiness I can handle. I had one experience that I was SO incredibly happy I didn’t know if I could handle it. There was so much energy moving through my body that I had to lay down because. I thought “this is too much happiness. I want some of it to go away!”
Happiness Scares the Sh*T Out of ME
Who would ever ask to have less happiness? Apparently, I would and I don’t think I’m alone. In fact, I know I’m not alone. Many people self-sabotage. I see it all the time.
You are trying to lose weight, yet you figure one little donut won’t hurt your weight loss goals.
Or you are in a wonderful relationship but waiting for the other shoe to drop. So, you create something that will speed up the process. That way you are in control.
However, if we choose to trust that everything is the way it is supposed to be maybe it will all be OK and the other shoe won’t drop.
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Why Do You Self-Sabotage?
1. You Self-Sabotage Because You Think You Are Not Worthy
You may feel like you aren’t worthy of happiness and that is a reason you self-sabotage. Often people think they are not worthy of a promotion or a wonderful relationship, so they subconsciously find ways to sabotage it before it happens. This way their opinion of themselves doesn’t change.
It is uncomfortable to feel unworthy and all of a sudden get a huge raise. You will think you don’t deserve it and feel weird about getting it.
You have to try to find a way to make yourself worthy of the things in your life you want BEFORE you get them. How can you do this? You can try positive affirmations, having positive self-talk, or asking your friends and family what they like about you.
As an example, years ago I went to a counselor who had me give 3 of my friends or family members a sheet of paper to write things they liked about me. It really opened my eyes as to what others thought. I felt so loved and worthy. I still have those papers after all these years and I still get choked up when I read them. It is OK to ask others to help you out if you aren’t feeling worthy.
2. You Self-Sabotage When You Are Outside Your Comfort Zone
If your normal state is not of happiness and then all of a sudden you get flooded with happy things, it can cause some serious anxiety! This is so far out of your comfort zone that you don’t know how to handle it. So, what might you do about it?
You can introduce little bits of happiness every day, so you get used to it. Maybe one day you smile more. The next day you watch a funny movie or some funny YouTube videos. Anything you can do to SLOWLY introduce happiness will make it easier to accept big happy things and experiences into your life.
3. You Self-Sabotage When You Have Failed at Something Before
Let’s say you get into a relationship that is going great and all of a sudden past fears pop up. You failed at relationships in the past so you think “why would this be any different?” You self-sabotage the relationship that is going great. This can happen in any area of your life that you have failed at before, maybe in Business, Money, Love, Friendships, or Health.
But the thing you need to realize is that almost NO ONE succeeds at something their first go around. Maybe you know that one rare couple who get married after they fell in love in high school and who have never been with anybody else. Or maybe you know of that one successful person that started their first business and became a millionaire without failing once.
You are actually better off than them! Here’s why – you now have a ton of life experience. If it is your second go-around at success or your twentieth go-around you will be all the wiser. You will be able to do it so much better than if you hadn’t gone through any failures. Look at failure as a learning experience, not something to be ashamed of or to stop you from trying again.
4. You Self-Sabotage Because Sometimes Excitement is More Exciting
Life can have its moments where it is dull and boring. What do you do if that is the case? Some people may try to add some excitement to it. This may come in the form of self-sabotage. At the time it might be the only option available to add excitement to your life. We all do it from time to time.
As humans, we like energy that is moving and when it stops, we get bored. It is better for us to have an exciting life than a boring and mundane life.
However, there are better ways to add excitement than creating a self-sabotaging event. You could do something exciting such as jumping out of a perfectly good airplane or going on a mini-vacation somewhere.
Are You Purposely Self-Sabotaging?
No one purposely says, “I want to sabotage the one thing that is going great in my life right now.”
However, limiting beliefs may be the ones pulling the strings. You may have a limiting belief such as “love is difficult to find” that is causing you to self-sabotage all your relationships. Or you may have a limiting belief that you don’t even know about preventing you from being happy.
An example might be that you are afraid of being in a relationship because you are afraid of intimacy. You may not know that you are afraid of intimacy though which is why you self-sabotage and later think “why on earth would I do that? I don’t understand why I sabotaged that.”
Are You Doomed for a Self-Sabotaging Life?
No one is doomed to be unhappy and forever in a chronic self-sabotaging cycle. The first step is to recognize when you are self-sabotaging. Once you recognize “when” you are doing it then you can start to dig into the “why.”
Dig deep and figure out why you might do this to yourself. I assure you with a little bit of inner reflection you will come up with why. After you have the “why” you will be able to work through that belief and dissolve it. Sometimes a belief just wants to be acknowledged and once it is it can go away.
~Meghan
