How To Control The Negative Thoughts In Your Head
If you are mindful then you have probably asked yourself “how do I control the negative thoughts in my head?” You understand when you are doing it but want to know how to stop it. Before you know it, they are out of control and leave you wondering “how on earth did this happen? I was just happy and it seems like all of a sudden I’m thinking negative thoughts.”
We all experience negative thoughts from time to time. So how do you control them? How do you shift the balance so that more of your thoughts are positive and you have fewer negative ones taking over your mind?
Below are 8 ways to help you to keep the positive momentum going so that you have more control over your thoughts. This way you are controlling them and they aren’t controlling you.
#1 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Know That It Is Ok & Natural to Have Them
The first thing to understand is that it is completely normal and natural to have negative thoughts. You are human and live on earth and part of being here on earth is that you get many different emotions and thoughts.
If you can think of your thoughts as guidance and not beat yourself up about them, they will be able to move through your experience much quicker. Everyone has negative thoughts and it is ok and normal.
#2 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Stop Them in Their Tracks
The first thing to do is to become aware when you are thinking a negative thought and stop it before it picks up too much momentum. Once the momentum picks up, it is so much harder to stop it. It is easier to stop momentum in the early stages before it gets out of control.
A way to know if you are thinking a negative thought is by how your body feels. Do you suddenly feel a tightness in your chest? Or maybe you feel sick to your stomach?
When this happens, it means that you are thinking about something that isn’t beneficial to you. When you notice your body feels uncomfortable, take note of what you were thinking right before it happened.
It is about being mindful of what is going on with your body and thoughts, as they are connected.
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#3 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Do What You Want in Your Life
If you are always doing what someone else wants you to do, then this can cause you to become resentful and ultimately have negative thoughts in your head. If you don’t get control over them, then the thoughts can take over you and carry you away into a state that doesn’t feel good.
This is about being mindful of your time and personal boundaries. Is there something that is draining you that you should be saying no to more often? Maybe you don’t want to make the other person feel bad by saying no.
But what is worse, you saying yes all the time, pleasing the other person, and becoming resentful and miserable every day? Or saying yes sometimes but also saying no when you want to, possibly upsetting the other person (but also having them respect you more for standing your ground) and feeling authentic and happy with what you do with your time?
It can be difficult to set those boundaries at first, but as I mentioned, the other person may respect you more if you do. Or, they might not be as upset about it as you think. You need to take care of your own energy and fill up your own cup or you will become completely drained and resentful.
#4 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Become Solid in Your Self-Confidence
If you can become solid in your self-confidence, then outside circumstances won’t get to you. There will always be people who disagree and who will say things, but if you know your own truth then nothing anyone says will get to you.
For example, let’s say someone comes up to you and says, “I don’t like the green shirt you are wearing.” But you aren’t wearing a green shirt, your shirt is red. It won’t bother you because the comment doesn’t apply to you. You can easily brush it off and say they don’t know what they are talking about.
The same thing happens when you become solid in your self-confidence. When someone says something that isn’t your truth, you can brush it off and not let it get to you because it isn’t for you. It doesn’t pertain to you; it is only what they are thinking.
You can build up your confidence by doing things that make you feel good. Maybe that’s going for a run or cooking something delicious or donating your time to help someone else. Perhaps, you do something you are scared of and then feel really good about yourself. Whatever it is for you, the things that make you feel good will strengthen your confidence in yourself.
Becoming solid in your self-confidence helps you to control the negative thoughts in your head because you know who you are and you are confident in yourself, no matter what life throws at you.
#5 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the biggest reasons why you may have negative thoughts in your head is because you are comparing yourself to others. You may think you should be further ahead because other people that you see are further ahead than you.
It is important to understand that everyone has their own journey and what you see may not be the whole story. Maybe that person failed 99 times before they became successful. Since they haven’t shared their whole story, it looks as if they did much better than you and found their way so much quicker. But in reality, they had to go through a lot to get to where they are.
Another way to help you to stop comparing is to not go on social media as much. Or notice when it makes you feel bad and know that means it is time to turn it off for a while. Social media has made it easy for us to compare ourselves to others. Use it to empower you and if you notice it isn’t, then turn it off.
You may also like my article “How to Do an Emotional Cleanse” or video which helps to reset your mind, body, and soul. I found it absolutely amazing for clearing any emotional toxins that you are carrying and bring you back to a state of peace.
#6 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Know That You Are a Perfect, Unique Human Being
Everyone is different and that’s what makes you unique. Imagine if we were all the same! How boring would that be?
Your unique qualities are what make you special. I often find that people’s so-called “imperfections” are the things that I like most about them. Especially when someone seems to embrace their so-called imperfections.
It is so beautiful to see someone fully embraces who they are. We are all created perfect because we are all imperfect. We are unique and special and we all come from the same place. It is up to you to know that the things you may not like about yourself are special and that someone else may find them very attractive. Embrace your uniqueness!
#7 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Let the Momentum of Your Positive Thoughts Carry You Forward
This is the opposite of not letting the negative thoughts get too much momentum. In this case, you want to allow the positive thoughts to carry you forward. It will be much easier to allow them to flow after the first few positive thoughts.
Newton’s first law of motion states that an object in motion stays in motion unless an external force stops it. So, if you have a positive thought, allow that to keep going for as long as you can. It can only be stopped by having a force stop it.
This may feel uncomfortable at first if you aren’t used to having a lot of positive thoughts. Whatever your default thinking is will feel the most comfortable. This is good to be aware of because if it does feel uncomfortable to have a lot of positive thoughts, know that it is ok.
Allow space for the discomfort and know that it is only because you aren’t used to it. Know that the discomfort will go away once you begin to get into a more default positive way of thinking.
#8 Way to Control Negative Thoughts – Detach from Beliefs That Aren’t Yours
Growing up, you probably encountered many teachers with their own beliefs, your peers, and your family. Even as an adult, other people’s beliefs can begin to shape your own. If you are around someone enough and they are constantly expressing their beliefs, you may begin to eventually see them as your own.
Some beliefs are great, while others may be holding you back. It is important to look at the ones that are holding you back and let go of them or trade them for a more empowering belief.
Some of the beliefs you picked up may not even be your own and it is ok to let go of them. What you can do is ask yourself “is this belief mine?” If it isn’t, then simply choose to let it go and change it into a belief that empowers you.
If it is your own belief, know that you are allowed to change it also and let it go. You may think it is harder to let go of a belief that is yours because if you change your belief you will be a hypocrite or you will not know who you are because you are always changing your mind. It is important to understand that as you acquire more knowledge and life experience, it is ok to change your beliefs. There is nothing wrong with it. It is part of life to learn and evolve and at times that can require us to change our beliefs.
Bottom Line: How to Control the Negative Thoughts in Your Head
You are human, so it is normal to have negative thoughts and emotions every now and then. If you want to control the negative thoughts in your head to have more positive thoughts, then the first step is to become aware of when you are thinking about them. This awareness allows you to notice when you are doing it and stop it before it catches too much momentum.
Allow your positive thoughts to pick up momentum and carry you forward. When you have a positive thought, go with it and allow all the other positive thoughts to enter your mind and stay in that bliss for as long as you can.
Understand that you are allowed to change your beliefs into more empowering ones if the current ones you have are not serving you. You are allowed to let go of beliefs that other people have and you do not have to take them on as your own. The more you practice the tips above, the easier it will get.
~Meghan
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