How To Break Out Of A Victim Mindset

Have you caught yourself having a victim mindset in your life?

I know I have. I’ve caught myself saying “I work so hard why isn’t my financial situation improving?”

That is essentially me having a victim mindset in my life. I was blaming outside circumstances for my so-called ‘financial problems’. I quickly realized that I wasn’t taking responsibility for what was happening in my experience. I knew I needed to stop being a victim in life.

We create our own reality. But sometimes it is so difficult to comprehend how we create the things we do. It’s a tough pill to swallow when you have to accept responsibly for your life going the way it is. It is so much easier to blame others and circumstances for not having the life you want.

I knew the only way I was going to get myself out of this hole was to stop being a victim and become a leader in my own life. I wasn’t going to sit at home and cry when I could go out and do something about it. I no longer wanted to have a victim mindset and wanted to take control of my life.

How to Know You Have a Victim Mindset

We play different roles in life. Think of it like a theater and you get the choice if you want to take the role of a leader or of the victim. It is completely up to you which role you accept. There are a few things that alert you to the fact that you are indeed allowing yourself to be a victim and that you’ve taken on that role in your experience. 

1. You Blame Others 

When you have a victim mindset then you blame others for your circumstances. You think and say things such as “why doesn’t my boss give me a raise & why can’t I get more clients, what is wrong with everybody?” When you blame others, you are making it seem like they control your life – not you. You aren’t taking responsibility for your life going the way it is.

2. You Are Jealous of Others 

When you have a victim mindset you aren’t happy for other peoples’ success but you are jealous that they have what you want. You think “how could they have so much success when they don’t work very hard.”

The fact is that you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes of someone’s life. Being jealous hurts you more than anyone because it prevents you from learning from these people.

3. You Think It’s Someone Else’s Responsibility to Fix Things 

When you go into a situation and think it is up to someone else to take care of something then you have a victim mindset.

Let’s say the photocopier at work is broken and you go in thinking “why didn’t someone else fix this before I came to use it? It is the receptionists’ responsibility.” You are essentially playing a victim. Just because it isn’t technically your ‘role’ doesn’t mean you can’t help to fix it.

It’s easy to fall into this trap of blaming others. But it is also easy to get out of the trap of playing the victim.

How to Break Out of a Victim Mindset

1. Understand You Are Responsible for Your Life 

Instead of blaming others for your unhappiness understand that everything that is happening is a reflection of what is happening inside of you.

These people are not doing anything to you. They are acting in the only way they can – reflecting back to you where your vibration is.

So, use this information as constructive feedback to change how you are doing things. You really can learn a lot from how others act around you.

2. Learn from Others 

Instead of being jealous of others use the opportunity to learn from them. If they are successful, then there is something you can learn from them. See successful people not as a threat or competition but as a mentor for someone that you strive to be like.

3. Do What You Can No Matter If It Is Your ‘Role’ or Not 

When you take on a leadership role, you help out with problems (if you are capable) as they arise no matter if it is your responsibility or not. You don’t assume it is always up to someone else to take care of it. You always take a leadership role no matter if it is in your job description or not.

Conclusion: How to Break Out of a Victim Mindset

It is easy to fall into the trap of having a victim mindset and believing that other people control your life. It is not as easy to take responsibility and understand that you are the one in charge, creating everything that happens. It can be done though.

It starts with shifting your mindset to someone who is a leader and who controls their own life. A leader will do what needs to be done to fix something, they will not sit in the corner and talk about who’s fault it is and how someone else should fix it.

Once you start to get out of the victim mindset then you will see how life flows more smoothly and how you can overcome anything. Because you are the one in charge, not other people or circumstances.

 ~Meghan