Why Is It So Difficult To Be Yourself?

It’s funny how we are so concerned with what people think about us. Why is this so? Why can’t you be free to be yourself around others?

Of course, it would be nice to always be yourself around others, but I believe certain situations cause us to act in different ways. That is the great part about being human, we have different personalities for different things in our life.

Others are always saying “just be yourself and you’ll be fine.” But that is easier said than done. How do we just be ourselves in a job interview when we are trying to impress someone?

Or how do we casually walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them like they are our best friend?

Different situations bring out a different personality in us. In a job interview, we try to act confident and impressive. Whereas when meeting someone for the first time we might be trying to come across as a nice person.

Is It More Difficult to Be Yourself Around People You Know?

I think it depends on the situation. If you are going for coffee with your best friend, it won’t be as difficult to be yourself. But if you want to share something important and vulnerable then you may find it more difficult to just give away that information like it’s no big deal.

When I first started posting articles and videos, I freely post my articles on platforms where no one knew me, but I was hesitant to post on platforms where I have a lot of my friends following me.

Why was I scared of other people judging me and my work? This is screwed up and really had me thinking. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Why are we so afraid to be ourselves?

5 Reasons Why It Is So Difficult to Be Yourself

1. You Don’t Want Others Opinions of You to Change

If someone knows you and likes you then you don’t want them to change their opinion and think any differently. We like it that they like us and we want it to stay this way. So, we don’t want them to disagree with us and change their opinion when we do or say something. 

The more vulnerable and open we are the greater chance this could happen. So, we hold back a part of ourselves and find it difficult to fully be ourselves.

2. You Want to Seem Like You Have Your Sh*t Together

We all want to be strong and seem like we always have our sh*t together. But the truth is no one in this world completely has their sh*t together. I don’t care how they come across or what they might say. No one is completely without some sort of obstacle they are facing.

3. You Want to Relate to Others

It is difficult to be yourself when you are trying to relate to others. For example, I am quite a spiritual person and I did a really good job of hiding that part of me for many years as I didn’t want others to think I was weird because they couldn’t relate. I talked about it with my close friends and family, but I usually didn’t bring it up because I worried that others may not be able to relate to what I was saying. I didn’t want to make them feel left out because they didn’t understand what I was talking about.

Relating to others is very important. That is how many people connect. If you meet someone for the first time and get talking and all of a sudden one of you brings up something that you happen to have in common, you can feel that bond starting to form. If you don’t have a thing in common, then it is more difficult to really feel that connection on a deeper level.

4. You Are Scared of Being Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is a super scary thing because when you are vulnerable that leaves you open to getting hurt. So, you think it is easier to not put yourself in the position of getting hurt in the first place. Whereas if you are open and vulnerable it would make it a lot easier to connect with others.

5. You Are Scared Other Opinions of You Will Change How You Think of Yourself

It is one thing to have others’ opinions of you change but it is another thing completely to have them affect how you think of yourself. You are with yourself 24/7 so to change your opinion of yourself in a negative way can be extremely heartbreaking and difficult.

There Will Be a Day That You Choose to Be Yourself No Matter How Difficult It Is

You can’t keep hiding from others forever. I find as I get older, I embrace who I am more and more. I care less what other people think of me.

There will be a day you say, “screw this I am going to just be myself no matter what anyone thinks.” You know that holding yourself back and who you are isn’t helping anyone. You have so much more to offer when you are being true to yourself.

Conclusion: Why Is It So Difficult to Be Yourself?

It is normal to be worried about what people think of you. It is sometimes difficult to always be yourself when it leaves you vulnerable to judgment. But try to not let anyone or anything control your life.

Keep being you no matter how anyone else reacts. The people who reap the most rewards and benefits in life are the ones who are open and willing to truly be themselves no matter what anyone else thinks.

~Meghan